6. We have a great collection of famous golf Poems / Verses.Our selection of golf Poetry focuses on poems that are about golf and easy to comprehend. Would You Get Married Again? To give yourself the best possible chance of playing to your potential, you must prepare for every eventuality. I never quit trying; I never felt that I didn’t have a chance to win. Check out our collection of humorous and funny golf quotes below. Diller's comment is a great take on a bit of traditional golf advice. Find funny golf stock images in HD and millions of other royalty-free stock photos, illustrations and vectors in the Shutterstock collection. Sure, but only after long practice and only with the ability to think under pressure. Funny Golf Quotes and Sayings. He missed short putts because of the uproar of butterflies in the adjoining meadows. The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. Reverse every natural instinct and do the opposite of what you are inclined to do, and you will probably come very close to having a perfect golf swing. You get bad breaks from good shots; you get good breaks from bad shots – but you have to play the ball where it lies. A list of 36 famous and funny quotes about golf from Tiger Woods and others. 08 $12.50 $12.50. 1. I stepped on a rake.". Two rounds a day are plenty. I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk and a moose. of 39. funny golfers golf angry kilt golf funny golfer crazy golf woman funny golf vacation accident emotion golf retirement clip art golf player couple. I don’t fear death, but I sure don’t like those three-footers for par. These are some of my all time favorite funny quotes about women, they are not meant to “make fun” of a woman in a mean way! If you think your hands are more important in your golf swing than your legs, try walking a hole on your hands. Save 15% on iStock using the promo code. Doesn’t that set your blood racing? "If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball." It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do. Here’s our huge collection of golfing slogans, phrases, sayings, mottos, and quotes. The Dalai Lama himself. Fun Ladies Golf Games. Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick. | Creative, Purra | ISBN: 9798580542751 | Kostenloser Versand für alle Bücher mit Versand und Verkauf duch Amazon. So we finish the 18th, and he's gonna stiff me. And maybe that same element inspires the poets, writers and artists to pay homage to golf—or at least lament its cruelty. Funny Golf Jokes, Gags & Stories [Golf Humor Quotes & One Liners] October 14, 2019 by Raja Abdul Waheed. See funny golf stock video clips. Father; Mother; Son; Daughter; Brother; Sister; Grandparents; Grandchildren; Poems. John Updike. The most important shot in golf is the next one. Golf is the only game I know of that actually becomes harder the longer you play it. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.". WIFE: You would? Tags: funny-quote, golfer, golf-ball, sports, golfing Available in Plus Size T-Shirt. Golf is played by twenty million, mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. Contents hide. Golf Quotes. All White Red Orange Yellow Green Aqua Blue Purple Pink Black Grey Brown. I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced. Golf is the hardest game in the world. Effective Golf Swing Techniques For Anyone Playing Golf – Golf Swing Hero. One golfer pointed down the river, turned to the other golfer and said, "Look at those idiots fishing in the rain!" Author Unknown; Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic. "Golf is the most fun you can have without taking your clothes off.". Search for "funny golf" in these categories . Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic. If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they’d starve to death. That’s why we put on clinics. Let’s go clubbing! Concentrate on hitting the green. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five. When I die, bury me on the course so my husband will visit. But make sure you’re in the same time zone. of 39. Description. The only thing you should force in a golf swing is the club back in the bag. From the outfits to the fact that it is ridiculously expensive, it’s easy to poke fun at the sport. There are two things you can do with your head downplay golf and pray. Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards? Duffers who consistently shank their balls are urged to buy and study Shanks – No Thanks by R.K. Hoffman, or in extreme cases, M.S. We have fun and motivating Golf Quotes for you golf enthusiasts out there! I’m about five inches from being an outstanding golfer. Explore 1000 Golf Quotes by authors including Hank Aaron, Lee Trevino, and Tiger Woods at BrainyQuote. Golf is 20 percent mechanics and technique. I can airmail the golf ball, but sometimes I don’t put the right address on it. Many of them contain words and phrases that are unable to grace this slideshow. See more ideas about golf, golf quotes, golf tips. The best part is, if no one laughs at your golf pun you can call a mulligan and try the next one on the list! Just when you think you do, the game jumps up and puts you in your place. FREE Shipping on orders over $25 shipped by Amazon. Funny Golf T-shirt FAQs. The Funniest Quotes for Women. Although the same can be said of the rest of the items on this list, just reading the quote doesn't really do justice to its comedic value. Because I’m a guy, I think … Sorry buddy, no mulligans on birthdays. Funny golfing short stories | Golf one-liners Read More » Man Blowing Golf Ball Funny Picture. Words of Wisdom “Play it as it lies” is one of the fundamental dictates of golf. I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone’s golf game. The next minute you’re hemorrhaging. If you work at it, it’s golf. Dec 26, 2012 - These funny golf cartoons and comics will make you LOL!. Not even God can hit a 1-iron. “Play it as it lies” is one of the fundamental dictates of golf. I pray to God to help me react good if I miss a putt. Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated; it satisfies the soul … Golf World December 21, 2009. "Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga." Do you know what the Lama says? Jack Lemmon is probably remembered best for his roles in The Odd Couple and The Apartment. That is watching someone else playing golf. Golf without mistakes is like watching haircuts. I never pray to God to make a putt. Great Golf One-liners Classic Golf Joke Funny Golf Stories Golfing Quotes Top 10 Golf Caddy Comments Great Golf One-liners: … Clean Golf jokes. I Like My Women Like I Like My Golf Scores Funny Meme Image. Funny & Creative Golf Team Names. My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch. Explore 1000 Golf Quotes by authors including Hank Aaron, Lee Trevino, and Tiger Woods at BrainyQuote. If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age. I enjoy this bit of golf/life wisdom. See more ideas about golf, golf humor, golf quotes. When you hear someone shout “You da man,” if he ain’t shouting at Arnold Palmer, then it ain’t da man. Basketball is a sport for black men. Find out what these well-known authors and people are saying about golf! Thirty-seven guys in polyester slacks squinting at the sun. It has given me an understanding of the futility of the human effort. I’ve always made a total effort, even when the odds seemed entirely against me. 21 Ridiculous Golf Stock Images 21 Photos. I Told You Not To Hit The Ball Into The Paintball Area Funny Golf Cartoon. My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. Feelin Good Tees World's Okayest Golfer Sports Golfing Golf Funny T Shirt. – Alice Cooper. Real golfers, no matter what the provocation, never strike a caddie with the driver. I’ve played the game for 40 years and I still haven’t the slightest idea of how to play. CLIPARTLOGO15 apply promocode. Sunday Service “Golf is the perfect thing to do on a Sunday because you spend more time praying on the course than if you went to church.” —brockoli117 on Reddit.com History buffs will love these funny history jokes. Here you’ll find sports stories showcasing good deeds, overcoming obstacles, and sportsmanship. Saved by leroy. Golf is an ineffectual attempt to put an elusive ball into an obscure hole with implements ill-adapted to the purpose. Quotes By Genres. Birthdays are like golfing – it’s a lot more fun if you don’t keep count. Jack Lemmon is probably remembered best for his roles in The Odd Couple and The Apartment. See more ideas about golf quotes, quotes, golf. Golf is the closest game to the game we call life. Always hit it at 6 o’clock and make it go toward 12 o’clock. Quote #1. Give me golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. Mar 1, 2015 - This page is all about golf...and funny golf quotes...and golf tips!. Find out what these well-known authors and people are saying about golf! "One of the reasons Arnie Palmer is playing so well is that, before each final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. If you play at it, it’s recreation. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.”. Half of golf is fun; the other half is putting. A list of 36 famous and funny quotes about golf from Tiger Woods and others. It’s how well you recover from them, that’s the mark of a great player.”. The rest can never be mastered. Show that you are a true golf enthusiast when you are out on the resort greens and course fairways with this present. It Takes A Lot Of Balls To Golf The Diarmuid Does Funny Meme Image. The cup will come to you. Such is the game. 4.7 out of 5 stars 439. Weekend Forecast Golf With A Change Of Drinking: Funny Golf Quotes for Gifts Inspirational Motivational Positive Encouraging Quotes Lined Ruled Notebook, 6”x9” 120 Pages. The trouble that most of us find with the modern matched sets of clubs is that they don’t really seem to know any more about the game than the old ones did. 2. The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. "While playing golf today I hit two good balls. Golf slogans, golf phrases and golf sayings can unite, inspire and motivate. golfer; crazy golf; golf party; golf swing; golf plaid; golf course; golf club; golf cart; golf ball; yoga; golf funny photos . WIFE: Then why wouldn't you remarry? Sep 26, 2018 - Explore Julie Breimayer Johnson's board "Golf" on Pinterest. Golf epitomizes the tame world. There are no short hitters on the tour anymore – just long and unbelievably long. I had a wonderful experience on the golf course today. Missed the ball and sank the divot. To some, the greatest handicap is the ability to add correctly. Nothing goes down slower than a golf handicap. 596 Funny Golf clipart free images in AI, SVG, EPS or CDR. Who’s your caddy? Author Unknown; Gone to the course — be back dark thirty. “One minute you’re bleeding. They call it golf because all of the other four-letter words were taken. A golf course outside a big town serves an excellent purpose in that it segregates, as though a concentration camp, all the idle and idiot well-to-do. He’s Working On His Iraq Policy Funny Golf Meme. It’s so ridiculous to see a golfer with a one-foot putt and everybody is saying “Shhh” and not moving a muscle. Golf is a game in which you yell “fore,” shoot six and write down five. Menu. It takes hundreds of good golf shots to gain confidence, but only one bad one to lose it. A kid grows up a lot faster on the course. See more ideas about golf, golf quotes, golf humor. The only thing I can do is try to give back. I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead. The only thing golfers love more than golf is some funny golf jokes. Baseball, basketball, football, hockey, fantasy football, and virtually every other sport are covered. HUSBAND: Okay, I'd get married again. In this post, we are going to share with you 65+ Golf slogans, chants & one-liners. 99. Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly and the golfers lie well. The other is “Wear it if it clashes.”. Art said he wanted to get more distance. There’s a lot to laugh about golf. You can’t call it a sport. Explore 55 Golfers Quotes by authors including Robert Kiyosaki, John Updike, and Dan Jenkins at BrainyQuote. I give him the driver. How am I driving? Baseball reveals character; golf exposes it. Then we allow nineteen-year-old kids to face a game-deciding free throw with seventeen thousand people yelling. And, now, the best of the funny birthday quotes. We have fun and motivating Golf Quotes for you golf enthusiasts out there! Golf slogans, golf phrases and golf sayings can unite, inspire and motivate. When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls. TiP: Some of these golf quotes make nice photo captions for Facebook and Instagram. So, I'm on the first tee with him. Funny Golf Sayings T-shirt FAQs. This is a game of misses. See more ideas about golf quotes, golf, golf humor. Howard’s excellent Tennis for Beginners. The guy who misses the best is going to win. The more you play it the less you know about it. The sand wedge is far more effective. Women are not easy to understand, at least according to the famous authors, poets, entertainers, and comedians who have written on the nature of women. Rally your golf team, inspire your fans and liven up the crowd! Here’s our huge collection of golfing slogans, phrases, sayings, mottos, and quotes. Take a look at the world of one-of-a-kind funny golf t-shirts in the Zazzle Marketplace. Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Adjustable Baseball Hat Toupee Wig Hat Funny Golf Caps Novelty Baseball Cap for Women and Men … 4.4 out of 5 stars 148. If it’s any hotter than that, I won’t play. Golf gives you an insight into human nature, your own, as well as your opponent’s. Beyond this, the comedian and violinist (an epic combination) made the above joke about golf. Nothing. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know?" See more ideas about golf quotes, golf humor, golf. 1. Whether you just enjoy golfing on vacation or hit the green each week, here are some clever puns about golf for every fan! Jan 27, 2017 - Explore Eighteen Eves's board "Golf quotes for women" on Pinterest. Women; Promo Codes for Istock; All AI CDR EPS SVG. Golf is the only sport that a professional can enjoy playing with his friends. The true funniest golf quotes of all time are likely never put to paper and aren't spoken by golfers or celebrities. If some players took a fork to their mouths the way they take the club back, they’d starve to death. $11.08 $ 11. 21 Inspirational Golf Quotes. The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing. Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because the cart cannot count, criticize or laugh. . There is no way you can ever get it. See more ideas about golf quotes, golf tips, golf humor. 3. A routine is not a routine if you have to think about it. You can’t go into a shop and buy a good game of golf. Jack Benny; The more you play it the less you know about it. Rally your golf team, inspire your fans and liven up the crowd! The Funniest Quotes for Women. If you watch a game, it’s fun. Here are 45 funny quotes by some well-known funny men and women on life that will enthuse you. When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. Thousands of new, high-quality pictures added every day. Copy . It would be justifiable homicide if he wound up his pitiable exhibition by applying his niblick to your head. Golf teaches you how to behave. Enjoy. Missing a short putt does not mean you have to hit your next drive out of bounds. Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad. Clear filters. Pray for birdies T-Shirt. Well, what can you really say about the great Chi Chi Rodriguez's quote? Golf Playing As Snooker Funny Picture. Next. The grass is clean, a lawn laundry that wipes away the mud, the insect, the bramble, nettle and thistle, an Eezy-wipe lawn where nothing of life, dirty and glorious, remains. By: Laura Leddy Turner . Touch is something you create by hitting millions of golf balls. “I have a lot of growing up to do. Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye. You can also support your favorite player using these slogans & lines. See more ideas about golf quotes, golf, quotes. He hauls off and whacks one—big hitter, the Lama—long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Creatas/Creatas/Getty Images. May thy ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters. The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. Oh my God, what have I just said?". For non-golf players, the sport appears boring and shallow, but those who are passionate about it will thorougly disagree. Saved from slowmotiongolfswing.com. You are meant to play the ball as it lies, a fact that may help to touch on your own objective approach to life. Find out what they really think of these funny quotes about women — some written by men, some by women. “Mistakes are part of the game. Author Unknown Our family-friendly site includes sports quotes, slogans, and sports team names. Perfect for friends & family to wish them a happy birthday on their special day. It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits. And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." Home . The actor's quote relays an essential truth: Even the most mild-mannered golfer tends to lose his head when he sees or suspects someone else has hit or picked up his golf ball. Perhaps it's the depth of (often negative) emotion the average golfer feels as a result of the game that inspires him to wax poetic. I had a hole in nothing. There is one thing in this world that is dumber than playing golf. Copyright 2009-2021 Michael & Gabriel, Inc.© 2021 • Privacy Policy • Note: Sports Feel Good Stories earns an affiliate commission from some of the sites we link to. You swing your best when you have the fewest things to think about. Golf quotes for the seasoned pro, the casual weekend golfer and everyone in between. See the menu at bottom of the page for more birthday-related pages. A game in which you claim the privileges of age, and retain the playthings of childhood. If you have any suggestions to add, please shoot us an email. One of the most fascinating things about golf is how it reflects the cycle of life. The best wood in most amateurs’ bags is a pencil. One of the advantages bowling has over golf is that you seldom lose a bowling ball. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. Happy birdie-day! The Best, Funny Birthday Quotes. It’s a funny thing, the more I practice the luckier I get. Golf World March 21, 2008. All rights reserved. His comment gets at a few things: the wondrous and fascinating aspects of the game and its tendency to make bold-faced liars of its participants. If it works, it works. If God wants to play through, let him. Funny Golf Sayings and Quotes. I love the contrast between the agony of a golfer bleeding out and the ecstasy of a moment of creative genius. Lansky's quote is funny because, well, as golfers we're all a little bit masochistic. My dad has always taught me these words: care and share. -Bobby Jones. Here we had tried to express our best so you can also express your best towards your women in your life and in an amazing way impress the feeling towards you women it might you mom, daughter, sister, grandmother and wife, etc. Entertainment Music TV & Film Performing Arts Visual Arts Fashion & Style Love & Romance Gaming Hobbies Fine Arts & Crafts Astrology Card Games & Gambling Cars & Motorcycles Playing Music Activities Sports & Athletics The Great Outdoors Humor Political … It’s almost a law. No part of this site may be reproduced in whole or in part in any manner without the permission of the copyright owner. HUSBAND: Of course I do. Aug 15, 2014 - Explore Free Golf Forum Magazine's board "Funny Golf Quotes", followed by 259 people on Pinterest. Gone to the course — be back dark thirty. "Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. So I got that goin' for me, which is nice. Would you get married again? Shanker Golf Balls - Rude Trick Balls with Funny Sayings (6 Ball Gift Pack, Novelty Gag, Playing Quality) - Hero Edition - The #1 Ball for Shite Golfers 4.8 out of 5 stars 55 $19.99 $ 19 . The only sure rule in golf is – he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie. A golfer’s diet: live on greens as much as possible. Real pressure in golf is playing for $10 when you’ve only got $5 in your pocket. The next minute you’re hemorrhaging. If you watch a game, it’s fun. Golf is a game where the ball always lies poorly and the player always lies well.